Saying is NOT doing

This is my first attempt at blogging, so bear with me.

For the past three months I have been saying that I needed to start a blog. This is where it occurred to me that saying does not equal doing. It is very easy to say you are going to do something, but actually doing it is often another matter completely. I think back over the course of my life and realize that likely there were many times I have said I was going to do something, but never actually did it. Now that I am a full fledged adult (nearly 50), I understand the importance of “doing”.

When we give others our word, they expect us to follow through. I can honestly say that I have always had a problem with those who give their word, but don’t follow through. It leads to anger, disappointment, and often resentment. This is not to say that I have ALWAYS followed through, but I can say that I do try. I do not like to disappoint others, so when I tell you I am going to do something, you can rest assured that I will follow through to the best of my ability.

I am curious why people say they will do something when they have no intentions of really doing it. Why not just say, “No I will not do that”? Why do we have such a hard time saying no to those we care about? Will not following through be less disappointing for them than just saying no in the first place?

In my studies in grad school, I have learned that saying no is important for self care. It has been hard for me to learn to say no, but when I have it makes me feel powerful and much less anxious than I would be if I overburdened myself. I have also noticed that “true” friends are not offended when you must say no.

Along the same lines, I notice that when I say aloud I am going to do something, it has a completely different effect than merely thinking I am going to do something. This often solidifies a decision and makes it much more real, and often less scary. Try it. Say it out loud to an empty room. Say it multiple times in increasing volume. Then DO it.

It is never too late to change.

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